Buwan Sangalang

Forest

Born in Makati in the Philippines to Buhawi and Charo Sangalang, Buwan was raised in the ravenous business district until his 12th birthday when his father moved him and his 5 siblings to New York to set up a new American branch of his company.

Buwan was born with camera in his face. From the moment he was born, he was crowded by suited-up businessmen all desperate to be the first to congratulate his father for having a son while his mother tried to recover from the long labour.

The second day of his existence, his cubby little face had been printed in the city's most popular business magazine with the title, 'Sangalang heir - new blood, new ideas'. As his mother tried to soothe him from his endless crying, his father stole him away to his office to get him used to seeing business spreadsheets, telling him that one day he was going to take over. Being 48 hours old, the two day old didn't understand all the pieces of paper thrust in front of his little pudgy face so broke into tears and cried for his mama.

His nursey room was one of the only things that his father allowed his mother to be completely in control over, since he believed aesthetic endeavours and homemaking were women's jobs. It took seven days without any help, but Buwan's mother painted a series of beautiful landscapes over his walls from all around the world for him to gaze at as he fell asleep. She packed the nursery room full of soft toys; lions, tigers, giraffes, monkeys, elephants, bears, zebras, she bought him a complete zoo. Buwan's favourite was always the grey elephant which was the softest out of all of them. As he grew into a toddler and regularly got businessmen approaching him in the street to hand over their business cards as he toddled back from darecare, he started to realise just who his family was. He cuddled the elephant as he went to sleep as it was a little bit of comfort.

When he was four, his mother gave birth to his baby brother, Datu and he decided to shield his brother from the harsh reality of being part of the Sangalangs and having a reputation to uphold. When his father asked for help at the office, he would always volunteer.

Over the next 7 years his mother kept having children and he ended up being the oldest of 5 siblings. However, it was clear that he was his father's favourite as he was treated better than the rest of his brothers and sisters, being treated to expensive clothes and day trips to his father's exclusive meetings with clients. He felt special, so didn't notice that his life had already been planned out for him.

His mother tried to keep him away from his father's clear vision for his future by trying to bring out his creative side by encouraging him to write stories, draw and paint but before he could his father dragged him away to study up on business strategies, keeping him isolated from his siblings who were free to express themselves.

When he was 11 and a half, his mother drowned to her death. He heard the news when he was spending time in the office when his father's business phone rang. He picked it up and answered it so professionally, the hospital staff thought he was his father and informed him that his mother had died away due to a freak accident where her foot had gotten stuck in the netting of a floating buoy and she had ran out of energy to keep herself afloat before the lifeguard could reach her.

From then, Buwan saw the world in black and white. His body switched to autopilot and his emotions shut down to save himself from more hurt. He attended his mother's funeral and comforted his sobbing siblings as his father failed to comfort them. On his 12th birthday, the Sangalang family moved to New York, USA due to his father having 'too many bad memories'.

He went to highschool and slotted into the academic machine like a perfect little cog, designed and bent to fit the shape perfectly. He had no trouble creating friends but struggled to form any deep relationships with anyone so he always felt like he was hiding a little bit of himself. He began to feel butterflies in his stomach when talking to his male classmate but forced those feelings deep down, knowing that he couldn't be... that. He didn't want his life to become any more difficult. Just before his last year of school, his father moved the entire family to Florida.

During his senior year of high school, he formed an alliance with a girl called Zena to pretend to date until graduation to make both of their parents happy. By this time, he knew he was gay but hadn't told anyone. Zena came out to him as a lesbian and he came out to her in return. As soon as the words left his lips, he felt a weight being lifted off his shoulders.

He graduated with top grades and enrolled in the university of his father's choice studying for a business degree. He also enrolled in an anthropology class without his father knowing. He often stayed late at the university to keep on track for both of his classes but one day in the middle of winter, he heard smooth music coming out from one of the band rooms. He had never heard more amazing music in all of his life, he drifted over and was graced with the presence of the most beautiful man he'd ever seen in his life.

A few days later, he ran into him in the library and worked up the courage to say... hi. The two established a tight bond, and although being two socially awkward people they understood each other's sturggles without really having to say a single word. He read in Nathaniel's eyes the hurt, the pain and the fear and returned it with his own desperate need to be freed from expectations. He was much more than a Sangalang hier, he was Buwan.

First their eyes connected, then their foreheads and then their lips... and then everything else.